Coming out is an important and life changing decision that is different for every single person. There is a whole lot of planning and thinking that goes into coming out - and it is not to be taken lightly.
There is no “right way” to come out. Every person's situation, experiences, and life is different - which can make it hard to know what to do. Because there is no set way to come out, it is up to the person to decide the most effective way for them to do so.
Randy Neece, a member of the LGBTQ who has directed programs for education and a variety of other subjects/topics, has come up with some basic guidelines and tips for coming out.
One of the most important points he makes is to make sure the time is right. This means to make sure you are in a stable and “good” place in your life. The way people interpret this will be different. For some, a good place is living on your own and being self-sufficient, while for others it may be having good grades or simply being in a good state of mind. It is up to you to decide if you are at a point in your life where it is “safe” for you to come out.
It is also important to consider what moment you do it as well. For example, if you are about to have dinner with your family, it may be best to come out after everyone has finished eating as opposed to beforehand or even during the meal itself. If you do it prematurely, it can make the event more uncomfortable and strange. It can be hard to find the perfect moment so one must be thoughtful and logical in making this decision.
Another important factor is to be ready for questions. Chances are whoever you come out to will have questions or concerns in one form or another. It is beneficial to have anticipated these questions so that you can answer effectively and tell your story.
The most crucial detail in preparing for the occasion is to be ready for every type of response. While the person may be accepting and lift you up - the opposite is also possible. Be prepared that the response you get might be negative and full of anger and disapproval. It is vital to remain calm and keep the situation as relaxed as possible.
Regardless of the response you receive, know that the other person's “approval” is not required. Coming out is meant to be about you and showing others who you truly are and that regardless of this “change,” you are the same person they have always known.
Coming out is a nerve racking event that is not easy and can change your life forever but by following these simple tips, it becomes much easier. For those interested in hearing the stories of others who have come out - or would like to share their own, click here. For those who need someone to talk to or need help in any way, click here.
Never forget that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being who you are. Others may disagree and try to put you down - but do not let them. Being happy is a right that every human deserves - so do not be afraid to fight for yours.